New Year's Resolution Time!!

We all have a resolution like "This year I will lose weight, budget better, get in shape, move ahead in my career. . ."

We all have something that we disliked about the way we lived last year, and 2012 is a chance to start again.  My 2011 was not my best year in a few ways, but I learned a lot about myself, and I learned a lot about my husband.  We are both better for having faced the challenges we did, but we are also in the process of rebuilding some things that fell apart. 

For my husband, he begins the year by leaving his job and returning to school- forever.  That is to say, he is going to get his masters in education and become a math teacher.  This is a huge step for him, and I am very proud.  He is a little nervous about the change, understandably, but I believe the career he is in now has never felt rewarding to him, and it is important to him to feel that he is making a difference.  Beyond this change, he has also made a resolution to lose 70 pounds!  That is a tough goal, and I do believe he will accomplish it, but I am going to be extra naggy for the next month on the nutrition and exercise side of things since the toughest part is when you start good habits.

I am going to be struggling to get back to my former 130 lbs.  So, while my husband loses 70 lbs, I will be working off 25.  I do not really care for diets, they make me cranky, but I will sacrifice my good mood for a while to gain the happiness of looking and feeling good.  The plan is simple, 1200-1700 calories per day and exercising at least 1 hour each day 6 days a week. I am aware of how much I hate being hungry, and how much I depend on food to comfort me.  But then, no goals worth reaching were ever easy. 

My other resolution is to be able to do 20 push-ups from my feet (no girl push-ups this year).  As much as I like exercising, this seems like a pretty easy thing to achieve.  I absolutely HATE push-ups though.  I think it is because they are so hard for me and make me feel weak every time I try to do them.  My trainer thinks I have a mental block, and I probably do to some extent, but I will overcome that as well!

Good luck to everyone who has made a resolution!  I hope we all make some positive changes this year.

Just doing the running part

I have enjoyed taking some time off from the crazy exercise schedule to focus on important things like my mental health, my relationships, and my career.  I have enjoyed being stressed by Christmas and a project at work without having it impact a rigorous training schedule to boot.  I indulged in all my holiday favorites to the point that now, just looking at sugar gives me a stomach ache.  I have not been on my bike or back in the pool since the race.  I have packed on an extra 15 lbs of mass.  But, taking the time to reset physically and mentally is as important as all the training, and I am looking forward to picking up my training again in January.  I do have a marathon in February (not a big deal, it's only running).  I have started working on my speed for this, and there is definitely progress to be made.  I am currently running at a 10min/mi pace.  I hope to reduce that to a 9 min/mi pace over the next month.  My brother is visiting for the holidays, and we are going to do a 16 mile run together this week. 

My body is fighting a little as I try to get back into my routines.  I think there is still some part of me that wants to stay in bed all day and watch old episodes of The X-files.  The problem with a day that starts out like this is that it never picks up momentum, and I get absolutely nothing accomplished.  It is too much work to get out of my pajamas and pick up my prescriptions or groceries.  Too many days like that in a row, and I am out of food and drugs.  So, it is time to get back into a healthy routine, hit the gym, eat better, drop some pounds, and take my vitamins.  Ah, just in time for a New Year's resolution!!

Post Race Week of Gluttony!

Yeah, fighting gluttony is a lot like a boss battle

Well, now that I have proven to the world that I am an Ironman, I can stop behaving like one and start eating like a 300 pound lady.  There is nothing quite as freeing as the post-race week.  I have enjoyed pizza, beer, red vines, eating out, ice cream, and pie!  My body feels like shit, but mentally, it is great to not have to say no to everything that I want.  My body is pretty unhappy right now.  Aside from just the stomach issues that come with switching to such a large and sugar-loaded diet, I am also feeling extremely tired and sluggish.  Going out to eat with friends and feasting with family this week was absolutely wonderful, but I am ready to return to some more moderate eating (for both my body and my wallet - meals out are expensive!). 



Oh, they can't wait to be a part of my diet!



So, what's next?  2012 will be a little less distance, but, if all goes well, a little more speed!  I have a marathon scheduled early in the year, February.  I will be doing this one with my brother, and it will be his very first marathon!  He is a good runner, but a busy guy.  It is tough to get endurance training in when you are working on a PhD!!  He is doing well at the 1/2 marathon distance though, and I will need to build up some speed to keep up with him for the marathon, I think :-).  I am going to do the tour de mesa bike race again, and hopefully I will have company on this.  Other races are up in the air, but there are a few sprint triathlons I want to do.  I would like to do the Seattle rock 'n' roll marathon, and I would like to do the mountain man 1/2 IM distance triathlon.  There was also a mention over Thanksgiving of doing a Warrior Dash! 



Like that, but less killing

Aside from races next year, I have a few fun things planned.  I didn't do as much hill training on the bike as I would have enjoyed (since IM was pretty flat).  I have a few rides that have been asking for me to try them.  This includes Mt. Lemon in Tucson, and Snow Bowl in Flagstaff.  Of course, my life does not have to revolve around swimming, biking and running this year, since my overall distances will be significantly less, and I have decided to do some more yoga and weight training to round out my fitness.  Yoga has been a big help with my mental health in the past, and I think starting back into my practice will help me deal with any of life's little stresses.



Yeah, this warrior don't dash. . .

 It is strange to be done with the race I've been preparing for all year.  I was sure I would feel kind of empty without having it to look forward to.  I enjoy having a purpose to my training, and I enjoy facing new challenges, but this next year, most of my races I have done before.  I do not feel purposeless, though.  I feel relieved.  I faced the hardest endurance race of my life, and I did fine.  I wasn't even all that sore.  For once in my life, I am happy with what I have accomplished, and I can relax (relatively speaking).

I am an Ironman!



Sunday morning I woke up at 3:00 AM excited and nervous to start one of the bigger days in my life.  I had set out all my required clothing for that morning, and I had delivered all my transition bags to the race site the day before.  This was going to happen!  I started making my peanut butter and oatmeal breakfast, as my mind went through the process of visualizing the race.  Most of my nerves revolved around the swim.  I am a strong swimmer, not exceptionally fast, but I can go the distance, and am very good at pacing myself for a 2.4 mile haul.  I had done a 1/2 ironman in this lake 2 years prior though, and, even with the race having a staggered start with the men ahead of us, I was being kicked and clawed at the entire 1.2 miles.  I simply wanted to survive the day. 

It doesn't actually look as bad from out here

This memory fueled my anxiety.  For good reason, I have a fear of drowning.  I can remember being in the wave pool as a kid when it was crowded and being deathly afraid because of all the people in my general vicinity.  People are crazy, and people afraid of drowning are even worse.  Though I knew the people I would swim with would be athletes, and would not climb on me to save themselves from death, I also knew that they would be athletes who were getting kicked in the face and clawed by their fellow athletes while swallowing water that contains God only knows what kind of toxins.

I'm sure it's just the good kinds of bacteria

I ate my peanut butter and oatmeal breakfast; the same breakfast I had been enjoying all week (would hate to introduce some untested nutrient into my system).  I took off for the race at 4:00AM, with time to stop at a convenience store for some extra sports drink, red bull, and protein bars in case the worst happened and I needed to use the "special needs" bags I was given.  My stomach was in knots, still thinking about the swim.  I had to get through it though, because they won't let you just opt for a duathlon on race day.

If I organized triathlons

  I arrived at Tempe Town Lake before the transition area was open, wide eyed, and looking very much like the noob I'd been feeling like since dropping off my <$5,000 bike and non-aero helmet the day before. I was dressed to impress, wearing a pair of my husband's old workout pants (much too big for me) and my zip up fleece (they didn't match though they were both shades of blue; I have some mad fashion skills). I was wearing a tri-suit underneath, and that made me feel pretty professional. Everyone there looked like they'd been pulled from an REI catalogue. I have always been self-conscious about what I look like, and I couldn't help making the comparisons that morning. I really felt like a slob compared to this beautiful mob. I kept repeating to myself some words of inspiration I'd received in an email earlier that week, "I trained for this, I belong here."

Of course there are those who belong more than others

I got into the transition area, checked on my "sub-standard" bike, made sure the tires had air, and the water bottles were in place.  Nothing was amiss.  I took my special needs bags to their designated location, and realized I had nothing to do for the next hour and a half.  I walked back to my bike, checked my tires, brakes, shifting, handlebars, and food that had been taped to my bike.  I had no real idea what I should be doing during this time because I had never competed in this race before, and I just waited anxiously for people to start putting on their wetsuits so I would know it was time.  I think this might have been the longest hour of the entire day. 

It wasn't quite as bad as all that.

Soon, it was time to put on the wetsuit, and prepare to enter the cold water.  It was still dark outside, and talk began around me about how cold it would be.  I looked around at the full-sleeve wetsuits and wondered if these people were aware of what 60+ degree water actually felt like while wearing any kind of wetsuit.  My suit is sleeveless (because I live in AZ, and do not swim in really cold water).  I saw athletes wearing caps covering their ears as well.  My wetsuit seemed inadequate as I waited to freeze to death on the swim portion of my first ironman.  It was too late to make any changes now, and I nervously talked with the athletes next to me, and they reassured me that I would be just fine.  My favorite thing that was said to me was to "think of the race as a long commute to a marathon."  This was said after I expressed that my favorite portion of triathlons was the run.  With that thought in my mind, I jumped into Tempe Town Lake.

Maybe with a little less enthusiasm

My heart was pounding as soon as I entered the water, and I felt like I could not breathe.  Was it too cold?  I began to swim toward the start, and felt like my chest was being compressed, my wetsuit felt tight around my neck, and I could not catch my breath.  Would it be like this the whole 2.4 miles?  As I was treading water, I tried to breathe deeply and relax.  I realized now that what had been anxiety had turned to panic when I had hit the water and could not see my arm in front of me.  I reminded myself that I just needed to swim, that is all.  I felt myself relax, and when the gun went off to start the race, the panic was under control.  That moment was short lived, however, and I soon began to feel the other swimmers feet and hands hitting me as I tried to get into some kind of rhythm.  At one point, I felt someone grab my calf, and pull on my leg.

yeah, that's about how I felt

I decided to move toward the outside where the less competitive swimmers were hanging out, and that worked out better for me. I began to enjoy my swim as I found a rhythm, and started keeping an eye out for familiar landmarks. The swim finish was probably not as beautiful as it seemed at the time, but I can remember feeling like I was getting out of prison. I wanted to be graceful, of course, but I could not remember what had been said about the steps in the meeting the night before, and I just graciously accepted help from one of the volunteers, and let my pride have the day off. Wet suit came off, and I went into the transition. I did not set any records for my transition times to say the least. I was disoriented, and my fingers were too cold to zip up my jacket. I wandered toward my bike, which was brought to me by a volunteer. As I rode out onto the course, I saw my husband and a group of friends cheering for me. By far, this was the happiest moment of the day so far.

Not quite the happiest moment of my life, though

I realized a little too late that I had not seen the sunscreen application area. And, this committed me to my jacket for sun protection for the duration of the bike ride. I had some SPF chapstick which I applied to my face and hands to prevent sunburn as well. My legs would just have to move fast enough to dodge the uv-rays. My first lap, I recovered from the swim, had some Gatorade and tried to tell myself to relax. As cyclists passed me at 20+ mph, I could feel my shoulders growing tense. As the ride went on, I grew more comfortable, and began to appreciate the race environment. I had to take a bathroom break at the first turn around, and again, the volunteers were there to make everything easier by taking my bike and offering to supply me with any nutrients I might desire while I was in the port-o-potty.



The special today is chocolate energy gel

When I got back on my bike, I was on the down-hill.  This was amazing.  I was speeding down the Bee-line at 28 mph!  I started to really enjoy being a part of this race.  I began to pass other cyclists wearing aero helmet with shifters on their aerobars, and I allowed myself a little smile.  The second lap, I was passed by one of my heroes, Lindsey Corbin.  It was INCREDIBLE!  She was so fast.  I loved when the pros would ride past because a motorcycle would drive through and tell all of us amateur to move to the right so we could see what REAL athletes are capable of :-).  The low point of my ride followed shortly after, when I reached the turn-around, and an overly-ambitious cyclist crashed into a bike at the bathroom line, and fell into the path of my bike.  I almost missed him, but I ran over his right foot.  I stopped, looked back, and saw him walking toward the line for the bathroom. 

When you gotta go, you gotta go

With the reassurance that he was okay, I tended to my brakes which were now rubbing on my front wheel.  After a quick adjustment, I was back on track, a little shaky, but ready to enjoy some down-hill riding.  At this point, the winds had picked up, and I was now facing a headwind.  My speed was reduced quite a bit from the first time around, but it was nice to have a tailwind when I started uphill again.  I made it through the bike portion at a record pace, finishing 112 miles in 6:51:09.  I transitioned into the run with my typical disorientation.  This time, I could not miss the sunscreen appliers.  A welcome sight, my "coach" and his wife were there to keep the sunburn at bay.  I had so many things to say when Brian asked how the ride was, but I had completely forgotten how words and sentences work at this point, and just made a generic comment about how it was going well.  I went off to run feeling a bit rude for not introducing myself to his wife or saying anything at all, really.  "Enjoy the run!" I heard him say, and that was what I was determined to do.  Only a marathon to go!  The run was beautiful.    As the sun set over Tempe town lake, there were sailboats on the water, and I felt like I was part of a screen saver photo.  I looked at my garmin to see my pace, and it was slow, but it was steady.  I don't really know what kept me from running any faster, but I would try to push myself and then fall back into an 11 min/mile pace.  I decided to let it go, and enjoy the remaining hours of the race.  My mother-in-law and my father-in-law were there to cheer me on for my first 2 laps, and it kept me smiling for at least 3 miles :-).  My dad met me a few times on the run to snap some pictures of me.

I actually did feel as happy as I look

As I approached mile 20, I waited for the typical marathon pain to hit my hips and knees, but it never did.  I walked at mile 19 because my stomach wasn't doing so good.  But, I started up again at mile 20, and ran to the end.  I think my last 6 miles were fueled by comments about how I looked like Chrissie Wellington, though I am pretty sure no one has seen her running with a glowstick.  I am no champion.  I finished 1483rd out of 2542 athletes that finished.  I set out this year hoping to finish in under 12 hours, and managed to complete the race in 13:26.  But my friends met me at the end, and with that greeting, I could not have felt happier if it had been a podium finish! 

Ironman is this weekend

Well, I have neglected my blog, it seems.  I have had many thoughts about what I should be posting here, and the past few weeks have had some pretty exciting acheivements, but taking the time to make complete sentences about it felt like it would be more than I was willing to attempt.  I continue to struggle through my night shift hours, and I have run quite the emotional gauntlet as my race approaches.  I definately have been limited by the hot summer and working this unforgiving shift.  I lost my work gym to renovations, and have had troubles getting away to go to my own gym.  I began flipping on my days off again so that I could train with a little more safety.  This cut into workouts because the flip day is worthless for any kind of accomplishments.  I am lucky if I can spell my name correctly on those days.  In addition, my night shift has led to me doing whatever it takes to stay awake.  This includes some unhealthy consumption of red vines and baby ruths.  I have been struggling to maintain my weight, and have been getting angrier and angrier at myself for not being able to say "no" to the available sugar. 

Despite the inability to finish scheduled workouts and the unhealthy eating, I have accomplished the 100/10 bike/run brick I have dreamed of since I started training for this race.  Not only did I do this workout, but, a couple of days later, I completed a 20 mile run.  I will not pretend that my pace made me feel the slightest bit proud of myself, but I was not walking.  My 100 mile bike ride included 2 laps on the ironman bike course.  The race will be 3 laps.  The best part of the ride is that the last part will be downhill :-).  The grade on the uphill is not very steep either (maybe 1-2%), so my extra flab will not cost me too much. 

This is my final week before my race.  I have been eating well, and doing some short, recovery workouts to rest up for the big day.  My sleep has not gone well the past couple of days, and I am frustrated by this.  Sleep is an important part of the race preparation process.  It is also an important part of the brain functioning to be an engineer process.  I have come to realize that I cannot be the best version of myself for as long as I remain on the night shift.  It makes me sad that I could not cut it as a nocturnal human, but I have come to realize that there are people with this gift, and I am simply not one of them.  I hope next year will lead to a position on day shift and with that the opportunity to be a more worthwhile athlete and engineer. 

Off of my training plan because of a headache

  I am a seasonal allergy kind of girl.  I have been having the sniffles on my rides lately, and I know it is just that lovely time of year when I will need to deal with my runny nose and watery eyes.  I take my over-the-counter drugs, and continue on my merry way.  Well, one fateful Thursday, I decided to tackle my to-do list and knock out reseeding the lawn for winter.  I am terribly allergic to the summer grass and had just let it die rather than endure the sniffling and sneezing brought on by mowing it, and so there was really little to do but clean up a few patches and get some fresh grass going.  The project required a trip to home depot, and my father to bring along his new toy- a pickup truck.  Projects with dad are a very fun way to spend an afternoon, and we did a great job getting the lawn reseeded.  I am very excited to see how the grass turns out.
  The allergies were as they usually are with any work on the lawn.  I had to take my contacts out and had to endure some sniffles, but nothing that made me worry.  That evening, the headache started.  My plan to ride 100 miles and run 20 miles were still on the agenda, but the next morning, as I put together my camelback and checked my tires on my bike, I came to the realization that this headache was getting increasingly worse.  Depressed by the thought of being taken out of commission by my sinuses, I made some tea, and sipped it slowly while telling myself the headache would clear in a minute and we would be off for another adventure.  Now, 4 days later, the headache remains, and I am pretty convinced that the headache is actually a sinus infection.  Oh, we are so weak that our tiny bacterial foes can bring us down without warning.  And now, I am going to go to the doctor for my chemical warfare against these tiny invaders.
  I am getting my hopes up that I will be well by Thursday and able to do a ride out to the IM course to check out what I will be doing on race day. 

I remember now, I actually like doing this

  The temperatures are starting to drop off, and training is becoming a lot more fun.  My run this weekend was 20 miles and ended at 1:00 in the afternoon.  That means I didn't have to roll out of bed at 5 AM to get started, which takes a great deal of effort for a night shifter.  I rolled out of bed around 8 or 9 every day this weekend.  This allowed me to enjoy staying up a little later, and gave me more time in the sunshine. 
  I took my bike in to get my Zipps put on.  As always, I got a lecture on all the neglect my bike had suffered since the last time I had it tuned up.  Well, I dumped some money into a new chain, some new tires and tubes, and a service plan.  I have to confess, my poor bike has been through a lot this summer, and I didn't do a lot to clean things up.  I forget how many miles I'm actually putting on that bike these days. 
  I put another 92.5 miles on my bike with the new Zipps.  It was a great ride.  I did my Usery pass loop (45 miles), and set a new PR of 2:59.  I wasn't really pushing for speed either, since I knew I had another 55 miles to go, but these new wheels are rocking!  I switched from my Armadillo to Gatorskin tires though, and my poor gatorskins couldn't handle the piss-poor job my neighborhood's landscapers did of cleaning up after the mesquite trees they'd trimmed.  Unfortunately, I didn't buy any new 60mm stem tubes, so I walked my bike home.  I was only a mile and a half from home, so not a huge inconvenience.  I guess I could have patched the tube, but sometimes you just want to go home and chill with the hubby and cook something nice for dinner.  I made turkey meatballs which I had been meaning to make for over a month, but they take too long, and I have been incredibly busy.
  I feel like I've been pushing through the summer with my head down, gutting out workouts I don't want to do because it is too hot or I am too tired.  I have been finishing rides and runs with dehydration headaches, and wishing I could just give up on the whole thing.  The temperature drop this week let me enjoy myself for a change, and I finally remember why I signed up for this race in the first place!  Am I ready for this race?  I ran 20 miles yesterday, and I'm not sore.  I can finish 100 miles on my bike in 6:40.  I can swim 4000 yards without any left shoulder pain, and I have done 2 miles in open water.  If the race was next week, I would probably do ok.  Thankfully, I still have 6 weeks, and that is plenty of time to build speed and confidence.  But, I am in a good spot right now, and that is encouraging.  I wasn't sure things would fall in place, and I'm happy to see myself getting stronger in so many ways.