Waking up after hibernation. . .

I went to bed on Tuesday at around 6pm and did not get out of bed until about 2pm on Wednesday.  I would guess 20 hours of sleep is not normal for anyone, not even a night-shifter.  I felt completely exhausted.  I could not, and did not want to leave my bed.  It was as though I had the flu, but no symptoms aside from severe fatigue.  I swear I could feel the muscles in my legs trying to repair damage done over the past few months of training.  When I fell asleep on Tuesday, I fully intended it to be a 20 minute nap, and there I was, essentially paralyzed.  I thought I might have low energy because of my lower calorie diet, so I tried a snack, but to no avail, I was destined to reach a new personal sleep record.

When I woke up to go to work on Wednesday, I felt like I could have just kept on sleeping.  The whole "morning" I was dragging, not able to concentrate, and still, for all intents and purposes, asleep.  I went to the gym for a 30 minute treadmill workout, and I finally felt the neurons in my brain begin to fire.  When I came home after my shift, I fell right back to sleep, slept 7 hours, and was pretty cranky about it.  I feel great now, but what a strange couple of days!

Taper. . .

The final weeks leading up to my marathon are considered a taper period when I reduce the amount of exercise I do, and I eat only the most familiar and friendly foods.  I was on the treadmill in the work gym today, and thought about how easy nutrition is for the modern American runner.  We are able to decide exactly what we are going to eat for the entire week, and we can predict to a tenth of a percent how much of our caloric intake is from carbohydrates/fats/protein!  So, with all this information and modern research at our fingertips, why are we still slower than Kenyans? :-)

This next week, I have some difficult days ahead.  The two days prior to the marathon will include a very unfamiliar form of exercise, indeed. . . rest.  I think I've forgotten how to do this one.  Granted, I am supposed to have a rest day every week, but I use that day to lift weights or play racquetball.  The idea of not going to the gym on my break at work kind of scares me.  What am I going to do with this time?  It isn't like there are tons of things I can get accomplished at midnight or 1am on a Thursday/Friday night.  I will not be running any shopping errands, that is certain.  Perhaps I can meet a friend for lunch, HA!!  I guess I will be reading sans stationary bike.  Can you do that?  What will my legs do? 

Becoming Beautiful

One of the cliche things we're always told is that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".  The question it leads me to is, "How do you know when the eye beholding you thinks you are beautiful?"  The second question is, "why do I care?" :-)  Being beautiful is emphasised everywhere in our culture from magazines telling us how to become beautiful to surgeons who will use modern techniques to remove fat from unwanted places or even reconstruct your face.  We are passionate about beauty.  We crave the softest skin, the shiniest hair, and the longest lashes.  We are constantly told how to get flat abs and eliminate cellulite.  It all seems perfectly wonderful, we all can hope to achieve beauty if we find the right formula of hair products, make-up and weight loss drugs.  But, one is only beautiful in the eye of the beholder.  So, I wonder to myself, who is it that makes the choice of how my hair should be and what clothes I should wear?  And will they ever actually see me to give me positive feedback when I do it right?  If they will not, then I cannot become beautiful.  The only thing I can do is give up on the magazines and un-named persons putting this pressure on me, and find a beholder who can verify that beauty has been acheived. 

I spend a good hour a week enjoying articles on the latest in diet, make-up and hair care products to help women on their journey to becoming beautiful.  I read theses at the gym at work where I am not allowed to use hair products or make-up because, while they makes beautiful women, it makes ugly chips :-).  On some days it makes me feel hopeless, like I cannot be beautiful while I'm working.  Other days, I feel relieved because I do not have to stress about these mundane details.  Today, I found myself realizing that becoming beautiful is not something you can do in a day, and it is certainly not something you can be told how to do.  The only person who can decide if I am beautiful is me, and today, I decided, I will be beautiful on January 16th when I cross the finish line for the PF Chang's marathon.  Sure, I will not be beautiful to most of the people who see me at that moment, but I know that on that day, I will prove my physical strength and my strength of will, and I will feel beautiful as every muscle in my legs have been pushed to the limit, and helped me reach my goal.  Though, I will probably look more beautiful after I have gotten a shower and put on some make-up :-).